Rhydian News : thinking of quitting and the second coming

The Daily Star ,that paragon of journalism, reports that Rhydian has contemplated leaving the show because some of the other contestants (who are going to lose and fade into the obscurity they came from) are making him into an outcast. He is quoted as saying, “They just take the piss out of me. They are always doing it. They are making me want to leave the show. I’ve had enough. I want to quit now.”
As with all tabloids it is best to read between the lines. And doing that you find the phrases that stick out in this article are 'Welsh wonder', 'the blond sensation', 'firm favourite', 'show-stopping performances'. It goes on to say that "he was instantly disliked by mentor Dannii Minogue and her fellow judge Sharon Osbourne (famous for marrying a rock star and urinating in peoples suitcases) I added the bits in brackets there.
Rhydian can't leave for two reasons. One, I would have nothing to write about and two, it would mean X Factor was won by some talentless drone barking out a karaoke version of a Mariah Carey atrocity.
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In a more reliable news source, Collaborate With Fate an astrology blog reports about a Comet called Holmes' Comet. They report that, "(A) synchronicity that (we have) noted is, coincident with the arrival of this comet, the sudden appearance on the world stage of the X-Factor contestant Rhydian Roberts" Oh My God! They continue, "Shortly after the discovery of Comet Holmes Rhydian was described as "World Class" by Simon Cowell, then made a truly 'out of this world' appearance in a sparkly silver sequin suit and ever since his star has been rising. It's also difficult to dismiss the synchronicity between Rhydian's explosion to fame, the meteoric record sales this month of last year's X-Factor winner Leona Lewis, and the opening titles of the X-Factor show which depicts a comet streaking around the globe!"
They also furnish the information that, "Many astrologers are making an association with Comet Holmes to the bright star in the sky which accompanied the birth of Christ"
Take that Daily Star. That is how to do journalism. That is what we want to read.

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