Saturday, 24 November 2007

Rhydian: Shock Horror Scandal!

Shock Horror at the X Factor! Sharon O described Beverley's performance as 'causing her to have goosebumps'. An hour or so later she realised that she had been sitting in a draught so she sacrificed Beverley for the almost indescribably bad Hope. One 'singer' fewer and and one week nearer to Rhydian having the X Factor crown placed upon his magically coiffured head.
And already reviews are flooding in to us here at the Rhydian Factor. Here are a couple of the earliest:-

Bright vision blog spot on as usual,"Hello everyone! I have just been watching the X Factor show with my beloved. Once again Rhydian stood out with his excellent performance tonight. He was absolutely brilliant! I just couldn’t take my eyes off him as he sang. He made the song so special! Andrew Lloyd Webber’s loss is most definitely our gain! He is so versatile and I love to see his talent each week. He is as my beloved said, sensational!"

Still the best blog in the world Exitainment has an almost perfect summary tonights show, apart from her nit-picking criticism of Rhydian.
Starting off with SD,"He is a lot better than her. She needs to stop gurning.Their family seemed a bit touchy feely. I'm not really into all that.",
Niki, "She rolled out the dead dad again! Wrong! She sang the sort of ballad my mum used to play in the car."
Rhydian, "(He) was back in full-on serial killer mode this week, shifty eyed and looking like he'd had a run in with an angry orange. The song he sang was dreadful, it had no tune at all. God knows why Dannii was crying I can only presume she was drunk or on her period"
Leon, "I was disappointed Leon did swing. I hate swing!"
and a perfect summary of the result, "I enjoyed the end when Beverley went. I was glad Hope stayed as they are more interesting and I enjoyed Simon's gloating. Fuck you, Louis! You've only got Dead Dad now and you know she's no match for the angry orange."

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Rhydian:Sings Somewhere, X Factor Week 6

Ladiesssss and Gentlemen, Rrrrhydian. The beautific bouffanted baritone from the valleys steps out. Silver and blue. We hold our breath waiting for his to begin. Orchestra plays the introductory chord gently as the applause dies down. You can still here a few people booing here and there in the audience from Niki's previous performance. Put that nightmare behind you because you are about to hear beauty, power and style - all combined into one package. Somewhere. He begins gently, controlled and you find yourself missing the sailor suit till he hits "We'll find a new way of living" and you are with him emotionally. The ending is powerful beyond belief. There is a place for us, somewhere. Somewhere there is someone unmoved by this. Somewhere.

It's about now that you realise that for the last two and a half minutes you haven't been breathing. You can breathe again.
You've just been taken somewhere else.

(Did Sharon really say, "Lloyd Webber messed up on you, Mister"???)

Louis: A true pro, head and shoulders above everyone else
Sharon: Lloyd Webber messed up on you Mister
Simon: Vocals perfect, incredible winner
Danniiii: So beautiful, just incredible


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Hope:Worst Girl Band In History of Popular Music


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Friday, 23 November 2007

Rhydian:in Fantasy X Factor

Only about 24 hours to go till Rhydian picks up a love song and uses it to wipe the floor with the opposition. 24 hours till you have to vote. 24 hours till Hope become No Hope. I can hardly wait so I thought that to distract myself I would play a game of Fantasy X Factor...just imagine how good this program could be if they really put some effort into it.
After seemingly months of the 4 mentors listening to every deluded pub singer in the land (you're talking crazy!) it is Week 1 on the X Factor and it's Jacques Brel week. The special guest is Marc Almond who talks to all 10 of the contestants about the poetry and keen use of metaphor in Brel's work. As a further tribute to the great French songwriter the whole program, intros, judges comments are spoken in French.
"Mesdames et messieurs il est Rhydian". Rhydian decides to tackle, Ne Me Quitte Pas following the Nina Simone version, full lush orchestration, almost speaking the first verse then beautifully singing the second. The camera picks out audience members crying. Three of the judges give a standing ovation. Louis, "Je ne peux pas vous voir vendre des disques", Sharon, "Peux je voir votre coffre?"
Bizarrely, Sharon chooses the song Mathilde for Kimberley to sing. She is in the bottom two and the judges agree she should return to barwork. There are rumours that France may break off diplomatic relations with the UK because of her performance in the show.

MP3~ Nina Simone:Ne Me Quitte Pas ;Scott Walker: Mathilde
video: Jacques Brel: Ne me Quitte Pas

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Rhydian: Quiff News

A lot of jealous negative comments about Rhydian today mainly from lifeless hacks filling space in provincial newspapers.
The Middleton Guardian reports,"Meanwhile, on top of the misery of (...waffle about sport...), more misery is being heaped on the Land of My Fathers.
And this time it is because of the one thing that we actually look likely of winning. I’m talking about that whippy-haired, ego-manic freak show that goes by the name of Rhydian on the X-Factor.
Believe me, if you don’t do something to stop him you are surely going to send up seeing this pompous little fellow voted the winner by Christmas."

And from the little know and even littler read
My Park Magazine,"22 November 2007 - Foghorn-voiced Rhydian Roberts is to cover a Barbra Streisand song on the forthcoming edition of the X Factor." Foghorn? They cement their musical knowledge by stating, "Beverley is set to have a go at Without You - a beautiful ballad originally sung by Harry Nilsson but made legendary by Mariah Carey in the 1990s." which as any fool knows was made legendary by Harry and warbled all over by Mariah and also by Leona Lewis (Mariah-lite singer and last year's Rhydian)
And to answer the question we have all been asking for weeks visit Answer Questions where they pose,If Rhydian was a chocolate bar, which one would he be and why?
Answers include:-
Dunno about chocolate bar but reckon he could be a pepperami
Not a yorkie anyway - too camp for that!!!!!
One of those Toffee or caramel ones that gets left behind in the Roses tin.....hehehehe
I think he would be a Double Decker. As there are so many layers of him, so many different sides of him. He can be serious, elaborate, funky, is there anything this guy can't do?
in a bizarre way he does resemble the "milky bar kid"...only a lot older and taller
Hard on outside soft on inside caramel or cream
turkish delight..... they're disgusting.
Something nutty.
a williy wonker bar coz hes a gay ponce aristocratic wannabe
A milkybar!!! - eccentric yet strangely tasty. Extra moreish and enjoyable

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Thursday, 22 November 2007

Rhydian:Sings Ice Ice Baby in X Factor Hip Hop Week


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Rhydian: Mentor interviewed on Paul O'Grady Show

Gorgeous super talented mentor of X Factor winner Rhydian was interviewed on today's Paul O' Grady show. The 'highlight' was Paul wearing a Rhyd Wig (can you get those somewhere?) saying he looked a little like Erazerhead and then pretending to be Rhydian's grandfather. Paul also told Dannii how he would like Rhydian to appear on the show: topless and oiled in tight fitting ripped jeans, his hair cut in a flat-top and carrying a bullwhip. Let's hope Dannii took his ideas on board.
If you missed the interview, you can listen again by downloading the
MP3 here
Don't forget the blog danniisxfactor for all your Dannii news and needs

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Rhydian:Song for week 6 ~Somewhere

Week 6 in the X Factor house and Danniii has caused a major shock. After a week of rumours about changed songs, threatened walkouts and Simon's sexuality she has picked a good song for Rhydian to sing. A corker. One the Rhydmeister will do true justice too, not too obvious, not some cloying pap but a good solid show tune. Thank you Dannii, you are a star. The song Somewhere is from Bernstein and Sondheim's West Side Story - a modern version of Romeo and Juiliet and has been covered by everyone from Bassey and Streisand all the way down to Leona Lewis (last year's Rhydian)
Even better news is that, according to the Sun, Westlife will not be allowed to sing their current single on saturday's show.
Rhydian's latest Myspace blog entry is well worth a read. He talks about being more comfortable about this weeks song and he is going to be wearing a plain grey suit! Let's hope he is not getting boring on us.
MP3s~ A Somewhere Special . Which version will be the best for the Rhydification process?(answer:Bassey's). If you want to hear an amazing vocal style please listen to the PJ Proby version. It's about time there was a PJ Proby revival. This man can sing.
West Side Story filmscore:Somewhere;Tom Waits:Somewhere;Pet Shop Boys:Somewhere;Matt Munroe:Somewhere;PJ Proby:Somewhere;Barbra Streisand:Somewhere;Shirley Bassey live version of Somewhere;Leona Lewis & IlDivo:Somewhere


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Other Contestants in the X Factor #2: Hope

I recently posted about my search for blogs about other X Factor contestants, starting with Same Difference. I thought I'd better cover Hope (aka Ho'zone) before they are eliminated from the competition this Saturday. The group, who have cruelly been described as 'only four resignation letters away from being a great girl band', seem to have no one madly blogging about them. Sure they have a nice looking Bebo group where fans can leave comments like, "Charleee is tooo sexccc" plus various Facebook pages, go on, give them a poke(sorry) but no blog activity until I found this: Ultimate Hope a quite nice looking site except it only contains 2 posts then they gave up, both made on 10th November,"Hope did a breathtaking performance of Back to Black. I thought it sounded better than the original. The judges comments were generally positive however Danii concentrated on two notes of the song through her WHOLE review"
Unfortunately no one seems that interested in Hope. I think we can all agree that you know you have arrived when people start selling clocks with your image on them. Check out this ideal stocking filler on E Bay here

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Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Rhydian: Lookalikee number 235~Shadow The Hedgehog

If you are getting a little tired of watching Rhydian on You Tube try this version of Phantom of the Opera sung by Shadow The Hedgehog. "Sing my angel of music"


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Rhydian:more news from the blogs

The Welsh Wonder continues to make waves from Portugal to Port Talbot. Some recent highlights...
Madame Arcati (The premier showbiz and media clairvoyant who writes about whatever she pleases)writes the shortest possible post, titled simply Rhydian,"... In a class of his own. The current series of The X Factor may as well end now." An anonymous comment on her post replies, "First sensible thing you've said" Pay her blog a visit, she knows you're coming.
Not really about Rhydian but his mentor Danniiii,
ChicagoSexBox (Fierce! Camptastic! Hot Potato!) is a great personal blog and his entry about which is the better Minogue is well worth reading. Highlights include , "I always want to know where she got her dress and shoes from, something I have also wondered about Sharon Osbourne once or twice, but in a very different way.Plus Dannii must be applauded for the fact that she's never had the same hairstyle twice or worn the same colour nail varnish two weeks running - including the auditions"
Finally, Paul and Gaynor's blog. Paul is not so keen on X Factor this year as he so eloquently states here, "This years field is crap! There are no ’stars’ on the show and the 2 that I personally like (Hope & Same Difference are slagged off every week note; why I would never make it in the music talent spotting industry) but let’s be honest, it’s just laughable. Simon Cowell apparently stormed off from this weeks show having declared it a disaster. It was a 70’s night and come on Simon, nearly all the act’s weren’t even born then and if you go for 70’s you will get camped up kareokee. We had dancers on roller skates being dragged around the stage (and nearly knocking the signer over) and that Rhidian geezer/guy whatever he is, well yes he was supposed to be camp but ……..
Come on, it was a joke. And we call this ‘prime time’ TV viewing. Again, to top it all, the 2 act’s in the bottom should not have been there having had the viewers lowest count"
Paul is a bit of a Depeche Mode obsessive so The Rhydian Factor has written to him asking for his opinion on rumours that Rhydian may sing Personal Jesus this week. It's a sort of Love Song, isn't it?
MP3~songs for Rhyd to sing (are you listening Dannii?)suggested by
forever awkward on digital spy forum
Leonard Cohen:Hallelujah

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Rhydian: goes to college

The Camarthen Journal is reporting Rhydian (Wales first winner of the X Factor) made a surprise visit to his old school, Llandovery College, on Monday. The paper reports he made a flying visit and was given a hero's welcome , "The first thing he wanted to do was find his music teacher Vivienne Couch and our head of music Emma Lewis. Then he crept up on some unsuspecting year eight pupils in the middle of a singing lesson." I bet they got a shock.
The Welsh wonder, dressed head to toe in a diamond encrusted white leather flying suit then visited the rugby pitches followed by his parents' home. His Mother said, "It was wonderful to be able to make him a cup of tea in his favourite cup again - it seems such a long time."
At The Rhydian Factor we believe we know what the Rhydler's favourite cup looks like. It's the 'Born To Be Mrs Rhydian Roberts' tea mug and is on E Bay for a mere £4.99.

read the full article here ; see the Born to be Mrs Rhydian Roberts mug here

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Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Rhydian:Like the Singer~Buy the Number Plate

You know how it is, don't you? Sometimes when you go to Wales, and you are English, you think that the locals in shops and bars start talking in Welsh the moment you enter. You can sense the atmosphere. They somehow recognise you as an outsider and they want to keep you feeling that way so they switch to talking in Welsh. Now, thanks to those clever traders at E Bay, this is all a thing of the past. Introducing the Rhydian Roberts car number plate. Only 99p if you buy it now! Put it on your car and it is guaranteed to show that you love the Welsh, that you recognise their historical oppression and that you want Wales' best bench presser to win the X Factor 2007. Definately a conversation starter.

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Rhydian:What Song Should I Pick for Rhydian To Sing This Week

Obviously, Ms Dannii Minogue reads this blog religiously...but, just to make sure, I have titled this post so that when she is doing a Google search looking for ideas about what the Rhydler should sing next she finds this. For suggestions of songs that are due a Rhydification I was initially going to just pick more unusual choices and avoid the obvious ones.
But, one song Rhydian has got to sing on the show is Thunderball. Not only is it a great tune but has lyrics that could have been written for him. Listen to Tom Jones (Wales' 2nd best baritone) on the MP3. Hear how, like Rhydian, he treats those long notes purely and with just a touch of vibrato. If it was that melismatic Leona Lewis (last year's Rhydian) singing the song then no doubt there would be about 25 extra notes in there on each syllable.

He always runs while others walk,He acts while other men just talk. He looks at this world, and wants it all, So he strikes, like Thunderball.

He knows the meaning of success.His needs are more, so he gives less.They call him the winner who takes all. And he strikes, like Thunderball.

Any woman he wants, he'll get. He will break any heart without regret. His days of asking are all gone.His fight goes on and on and on. But he thinks that the fight is worth it all.
So he strikes like Thunderball.

NB: There is an urban legend that says that upon hitting the final high note of the song Tom Jones passed out, but that the take was so good it was the version that was released.

MP3 Tom Jones:Thunderball

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Rhydian News from the Blogs-Best ever lookalikee~Iced Gems

The Welsh Wizzard's X Factor performances continue to cause waves around the world. Here are some recent posts about his albino bequiffed greatness.
In Case You Cared talking about Go West!
"THIS GUY IS WAY BETTER THAN JORDIN SPARKS. This is all over youtube, Rhydian Roberts is on the X-Factor which is the UK, American Idol. Why can't there be cool people like that on AI. Those back ground guys are sexy too."
Tasty Tacky hits the nail on the head in a post called 'Rhydian has stolen my heart', "It's like Sigfried and Roy had a threesome with Freddie Mercury and all of them birthed a beauteous lovechild. Rhydian is so beautiful. F**k Leona Lewis. X Factor has made a newer, better star."
Hip Young Gun Slinger
In a post titled: Sublimely Rhydiculous, "Here is Liberace’s grandson doing ‘Go West’ on Saturday’s X Factor.The highlights are:-
*Amazing Stars In Their Eyes-style entrance culminating in military salute.
*Marching on the spot while singing.
*WALKING BACKWARDS while singing.
*Simon Cowell’s general bewilderment.
*The dancers tossing off at the end.(???)
Aside from giving just about the only decent vocal performance of the evening (the lad can’t half sing, etc.), Rhydian also impressed with his hair, which, as it grows in height, is starting to remind of us something…"

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Rhydian: Sharon Osbourne


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Monday, 19 November 2007

Other Contestants in the X Factor!

I got to wondering are there other obsessive fans of this years contestants blogging like mad about their favourite singer? Is there a brilliant blog all about Niki, criticising her song selection and following her every move with posts titled,"Niki - You should never have let that trombone player under your dress!" So I decided to look. Obviously there won't be any blogs about Kimberley because she was voted off the show before even the quickest typist could enter her name into Blogger. So I decided to start with Same Difference.
A blog called Tameside Eye caught mine and has the tag line:'A political exposé and insight to the councillors, members of parliament and prospective candidates of Tameside.' Lots of intentionally (I hope) humorous posts on fascinating subjects such as the Mottram Bypass.
It has one, and only one, post about X Factor's Same Difference but it is, possibly, the greatest X Factor blog post you will read anywhere:
'Do you want to make the Eye and another Tory councillor who reads this blog REALLY happy? Then vote to keep Same Difference in this weeks X Factor competition.' then after some You Tube videos of SD to convince you further, 'I can really relate to Sean from Same Difference. My dad also wanted me to be a footballer, but now I am an all singing, all dancing homosexual.'
Having persuaded readers on the merits of voting for the pair he switches topic to Leon, 'Just what the ****ery is Leon still doing in there? Which **** does "relight my fire" in the style of swing? Oh yes, Leon does. The only people voting for him is the Scots. It happened last year with the McDonald Brothers. The Scottish voters are a powerful force - just like the SNP."
The Rhydian Factor is not responsible for the content of external internet sites
Interesting Fact: If you type 'rubbish scottish brothers' into Google the top article is about the McDonald Brothers. If you type in 'speccy scottish brothers' the top article is about The Proclaimers. Try it.

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Rhydian: Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

Shocking X Factor news in today's Daily Mirror.
Leon has accused Rhydian (winner of X Factor 2007) of cheating, "Leon, 21, said, 'It's not fair he's had seven years of voice coaching and singing lessons. None of the rest of us have had that. Rhydian can sing and that makes the playing field uneven as far as I'm concerned.' Bubbly Midlands songstress Niki, 43, added, 'Also, both his parents are still alive. That can't be fair can it?' The Mirror contacted Simon Cowell's office to ask him about the latest scandal to hit X Factor and was given a statement which read, 'Simon has a girlfriend. He is not and has never been gay.'"

Further comments on Rhydian's Go West performance appear to back the majority view that it wasn't his best song selection or performance but mention must go to the people who comment on the videos on You Tube. Under Rhydian's video someone stated that they weren't happy with his performance. They weren't complaining about song choice, perceived campness, his voice or choice of costume. No, they were upset because he saluted with his left arm rather than his right. "No country in the world has an army that salutes with their left arm," they fumed. Sack the choreographer I say.

(Only 1 of the above stories is made up)

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Rhydian: Get the X Factor...on E Bay?

As Rhydian fever sweeps the country the merchandisers, bootleggers, wheelers and dealers are all trying to grab a piece of the action. Here at The Rhydian Factor we are mainly concerned with highlighting the best quality Rhydian pieces that deserve some of your hard earned money. From E Bay: first up is a charming Rhydian Roberts Keyring. This has the X Factor promo picture encased in a standard plastic frame - a steal at 99p and as the seller says it is a perfect stocking filler.
Now onto the serious merchandise. A Rhydian Roberts £20 note (legal tender in parts of Wales apparently) again costing ony 99p! This convincing forgery is a work of genius and contains two fine pictures of Rhydian on a replica note. The seller says, "A great stocking filler...the wording SAMPLE will not be on the note sent" I wonder if they are working on a Same Difference 20p piece?
And finally, the piece de resistance, the Rhydian Roberts Bookmark. The same two pictures as the bank note but this time encased in a plasticated strip. What really appeals though is that the seller has also produced a Rock Hudson bookmark and is promoting both on the same page. How many years have you been searching for a Rock Hudson laminated bookmark? Best of all the seller says, "Choose Between 2 Different Bookmarks
Rhydian Roberts or Rock Hudson..Laminated for extra protection against any spills and can be wiped clean

X FACTOR TICKETS on E Bay, CD WOW ,Apple I Phone, free delivery

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Rhydian: I Dream of Rhydian

There is nothing as dull as having to listen to other people's dreams. So here is a dream I had about Rhydian in the X Factor. Week 8 and it's Opera Week as usual on the X Factor and Same Difference have just sung Something New from High School musical. Louis is furious, "Tell me, in what way is that opera, Simon?" "Louis, Louis, Louis that just makes you sound so out of touch. This is what kids call opera nowadays," says Simon, "That was world class!".
In my dream the girl in Same Difference is frantically making those 'phone for us' hand signals at the camera that she does every week. It's as if she knows they will never make it as singers but they may get a Phones 4 U advertising gig.
Then Rhydian is on. Backed by a full orchestra with every player wearing a Rhyd wig. Rhydian himself is dressed all in white as he sings the best version anyone has ever heard of Una furtiva lagrima. (nb: This aria is from Donizetti's L'elisir d'amore and is sung when the singer finds that the love potion he bought to win his dream lady’s heart has worked. The part is for a tenor, not a baritone like Rhydian...but dreams are like that aren't they, really bloody weird). As he finishes, the camera turns to the panel and tears are streaming down their faces. I wake up. I told you other peoples dreams are the worst.

MP3~Luciano Pavarotti:
Una furtiva lagrima
video Pavarotti:
Una furtiva lagrima

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Rhydian:week 5 a problem with song selection?


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Sunday, 18 November 2007

Rhydian News : thinking of quitting and the second coming

The Daily Star ,that paragon of journalism, reports that Rhydian has contemplated leaving the show because some of the other contestants (who are going to lose and fade into the obscurity they came from) are making him into an outcast. He is quoted as saying, “They just take the piss out of me. They are always doing it. They are making me want to leave the show. I’ve had enough. I want to quit now.”
As with all tabloids it is best to read between the lines. And doing that you find the phrases that stick out in this article are 'Welsh wonder', 'the blond sensation', 'firm favourite', 'show-stopping performances'. It goes on to say that "he was instantly disliked by mentor Dannii Minogue and her fellow judge Sharon Osbourne (famous for marrying a rock star and urinating in peoples suitcases) I added the bits in brackets there.
Rhydian can't leave for two reasons. One, I would have nothing to write about and two, it would mean X Factor was won by some talentless drone barking out a karaoke version of a Mariah Carey atrocity.

In a more reliable news source, Collaborate With Fate an astrology blog reports about a Comet called Holmes' Comet. They report that, "(A) synchronicity that (we have) noted is, coincident with the arrival of this comet, the sudden appearance on the world stage of the X-Factor contestant Rhydian Roberts" Oh My God! They continue, "Shortly after the discovery of Comet Holmes Rhydian was described as "World Class" by Simon Cowell, then made a truly 'out of this world' appearance in a sparkly silver sequin suit and ever since his star has been rising. It's also difficult to dismiss the synchronicity between Rhydian's explosion to fame, the meteoric record sales this month of last year's X-Factor winner Leona Lewis, and the opening titles of the X-Factor show which depicts a comet streaking around the globe!"
They also furnish the information that, "Many astrologers are making an association with Comet Holmes to the bright star in the sky which accompanied the birth of Christ"
Take that Daily Star. That is how to do journalism. That is what we want to read.

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