Rhydiary January 31st 2008

Rhydiary january 31st 2008

I think it was an old funk song that had the line, “Fame. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Sing it again, Huh”
I was only saying to a newspaper interviewer yesterday about how, sometimes, I get worried about the whole fame thing. I know it's still early days but I feel like everyone is being too kind you see. I've no regrets about winning, sorry, I meant being the runner up, it's just I'm waiting for the backlash.
___________________________________
It was such a thrill to be back in Birmingham to receive my degree. I rang Gran before the ceremony and told her what I was doing. Her first response was,
“I bet that toe rag Leon hasn't got a degree, has he?.”
“Gran!” I can't tell you how shocking she can be sometimes. I said, “You don't really need to have many qualification to be a singer, Gran.”
“Singer!” I thought she was going to explode, “That manky toothed gnome? A singer?”
She's like that Gran. She speaks her mind.

Julia was thrilled for me of course,
“Rhydian, you've got to wear your white fur coat for the ceremony,” she purred
“You're joking, “ I said, “It's not that sort of event Julia”
Sometimes, I think that Jules has spent too long in the entertainment industry. She says that she wants to get into films. She says that hours spent trowelling filler onto Sharon's face has taken its toll on her, mentally.
In the end we settled for a very stylish pin stripe suit. She dabbed powder on my forehead,
“We don't want shiny shiny now, do we Rhyd?” and stood back to look at me.
“Oh Rhydian,"she sighed, “When?”

It was a strange sort of feeling receiving my degree. Being in front of a large audience again. The urge to sing was almost overwhelming,
The Dean, University Principal and Vice Chairwoman were all sitting together on the side of the stage, just like Simon and the gang. I was tempted, I can tell you. Although I'm not sure that the Dean would have been appreciative if I had burst into Get the Party Started and thrown my graduation gown over his face. When he introduced me I was a little thrown. I was expecting the full works, you see. The big intro. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's ... but, no. He gave a small speech about fame and responsibility and then I went up to receive it. The audience were cheering and then some one shouted, “Speech”
“Thank you. This makes me feel so humble,” I mumbled.
Like a lot of singers I'm fine with a song but get quite nervous when I have to speak in public. That is the only explanation I have for what I said next.
“What do you call a Scotsman with only one GCSE?”
The whole audience, as one, shouted, “Leon”

Love, the Rhydler BA(Hons)

Merry Christmas Rhydian

Rhydian: The X Factor Game #1

Sometime on Christmas day, post meal, you and your family will be sitting around wondering what to do next. Perhaps your thoughts will turn to playing a party game. But, before you reach for your Official X Factor DVD Game or even think about Charades please consider playing the Rhydian Factor Christmas Game.
What you need to play: A Rhydian and a Leon face mask. Two children's plastic swords. Two King's crowns (the party hats from your Xmas crackers will work fine).
To get the masks simply left mouse click the images on the right. The image should open up much larger. Now right mouse click on the bigger image, save it to your computer and print it off or just print it off straight away. Cut out the sections coloured in black, attach string/elastic and put the mask on your face. Get your competitor to wear the Leon 'fright' mask.
How to Play: Now each player, along with their mask, wears a crown and wields a sword. The object of the game is simple. Each must try and knock off their opponents crowns using their sword whilst , obviously, avoiding having their own crown removed. First player to be de-crowned loses. This could be your chance to re-write history. Don't let the Scared Scot win again.
_________________________________________
If you decide to play this game, or just wear the masks, please take photos...The Rhydian Factor will publish every single one that is sent in. Merry Christmas

Rhydian: More News of Rhydians Hair

Investor Daily News has an interview with Wales' third best singer Dame Shirley Bassey. In a piece entitled ‘This isn’t the country I grew up in. No one speaks a word of English these days,’ she strays ominously close to Morrissey territory with tales of drugs and crime in this land of ours. But it is her views on X Factor which interest us. She is quoted as saying, “It seems there’s no place for people with talent any more. You have only to look at television to see that. And if people do have any talent, they get voted out of the shows. It’s disgusting. It’s an abuse. It seems that people want to be famous for doing nothing - or drinking. " She then took another slug of gin and said, "I’m always being asked if I watch The X Factor...I was well looked after (when I started in the business) . Who advised Rhydian to have that hair? I don’t call that looking after him" Meeeow!

________________________________________________________

Someone on Yahoo Answers asked the question, "seeing as his victory was snatched from him by "stick tae gather,s no matter whats"will welsh singer Rhydian now adopt a more sensible hairstyle? or will he get a madder one soon?"

The question has received as you would expect various responses, the best being, "I think he may have lost votes because of it.....not that I think that should be the right way...the vote should have been on his voice!!"

Rhydian : Bad Hair Day

The Mens Hair Care Tips Blog (the bald facts about the hair industry) has a list of the Brylcreem Best and Worst Hairstyles of 2007. Rhydian ' the haircut' Roberts features in one list and bizarrely it is not in one of the 'best' lists.

He comes third in the Worst TV Personality Hairstyles of 2007.

1. James May(Top Gear), 2. Simon Cowell, 3. Rhydian, 4. Vernon Kaye 5. Peter Andre

Are they mad...Brylcreem is a company whose main product is perfect for the making of quiffs, for getting your hair to stick up electric shock style from your scalp. One can't help but feel that they are missing a trick on a massive scale. Rhydian should be their man of the year. Not only has he the best hair in pop, he is constantly changing it's style. If they made him haircut of the year their product would sell liked greased (should that be bryled) lightning.
And who do they think has the best TV hair? 1. Richard Hammond ?. Please examine carefully the accompanying photograph. One of these men has unique individual style and looks every inch a star, whereas one looks like shit. The fact that Rhydian didn't win this is a scandal almost greater than ITV rigging the phone voting. Now is the time to start the boycott the Brylcreem campaign, slogan: Give the Grease the Elbow

Rhydian on ITV Wales, 21st Dec 2007

Charming mini interview and a bit of carol singing from the man...plus he says that he will be touring on his own after the X factor tour. Many thanks to Fay for pointing it out to me in the first place.

Rhydian On ITV Wales 21st November 2007 - Funny blooper videos are here
Other X Factor News: It's the 21st December and in a hot off the press news report titled Leon Wins, Music Mike has his say, "I have been involved in the 'Music Game' for over 40 years, working with acts of all descriptions. Long before Mr. Cowell even dreamt up his 'Quick Buck schemes', it was taken for granted that every entertainer worth their salt, had to serve an 'Apprenticeship', Simon, I am utterly disgusted with your conduct, but I suppose you have to keep earning a crust, to keep your 'conservatively expensive' cars on the road. Tell me, which type of car will Leon be driving, in 6 months time, let alone 12 months?"
I didn't realise that Leon was old enough to drive but it got me thinking...what sort of car would suit Leon? It would have to be one that has bad tuning and breaks down every ten minutes
_________________________________________________
I reported recently about an article detailing the X Factor voting intentions of the Jewish community. Most favoured was Rhydian but one man was for Same Difference, Rabbi Aaron Goldstein, Head of Community Development of Liberal Judaism , "(he) prefers SD for their cheesiness and the good role model they set for family values. " I wonder if he will be changing his opinion after Sean was reported as saying, “I do not like paying that much for a beer. Those are London prices and I do not expect to pay that – I suppose that makes me a bit of a jewboy.”

Rhydian: The Party Is Still Buzzing

It is not my attention to fill this blog with embedded You Tube Videos ,but the work of Rhyddyfan deserves your attention. View all of Rhyddyfan's superb video interpretation of the world's greatest Welshman HERE. View, subscribe, give Rhyddyfan some love. Right Now!

Rhydian: We Still Support You

Fun cartoon version of Go West by Bannedyassy on You Tube: Visit their channel here

Rhydian: News

Showbiz Spy has a good feature on Rhydian and his recent interview on Real Radio Wales. In the interview he tells about his current location in an Oxfordshire cottage, hiding from the press. He states that although very shocked when the results on Saturday were announced, he feels it may work out for the best. And he thanked his fans, "I just want to say thanks so much to any body who have believed in me, supported me or picked up the phone and voted. I said on the show, and Dermot said ‘it’s not that expensive’, but it is expensive to vote and I appreciate that."
_______________________________

In recent posts I have bemoaned the lack of X Factor product available on EBay. Of course Rhydian has had clocks, mugs, T shirts, photos, car number plates and my favourite the wipe clean laminated bookmark available for weeks. The others however have had nothing until recent times. There is now a slew of tat devoted to that tuneless tyke, West Lothian lothario Leon. Highlights are a Leon Crosstitch pattern. That's right you can reproduce Leon's face using needle and thread. A seller who knows their market there!
__________________________________________________
More great things to buy your loved ones for Christmas. How about a Futureproof website? That's right you could purchase and give them the domain name for the most inappropriately named band in music history : futureproofboys.com. Available here on Ebay for £20. The price seemed a little steep to me so I emailed the buyer asking if he would reduce it to 50p. I received this reply, "The price is an extremely fair valuation considering it cost £10 to register and that it's an extremely popular domain based on visits and Google ranking. I find your question an insult!"

X Factor News from the Blogs

Obviously there are acres of press coverage all about X Factor and Rhydian being robbed but here at the Rhydian Factor we highlight the best, most unusual items. Articles that you may have missed.

First up a blog called Island of Dreams and in a very ominously titled Our Time Is Running Out the writer points out the signs of our coming doom, "Armageddon is coming so get thee to Tesco and stock up on tinned foods and sporting goods...The world is going stark raving crackers" the evidence, "the Tories are leading opinion polls by the greatest margin for fifteen years... unleaded is now £1.05 a litre round the corner and The Eagles have got back together. Most damning of all? Leon Jackson has won The X Factor 2007. I fully expect cats and dogs to start living together and Sunny Delight to rain down from the heavens within the next fortnight." He provides us with a perfect description of the one they are already calling, that wee Scottish guy who had one hit, you know his name , "But Leon bloody Jackson? A scrutty zig-zag of flesh with a total inability to carry a note and all the dancing skills of someone undergoing electroconvulsive therapy?" Read his full post here, it's good.
___________________________________________________________

A newly set up blog Null Points Eurovision Blog is unsure of the X Factor democratic process,"...outstanding candidate on X Factor, Rhydian Roberts gets pipped by a caterwauling Scottish midget who wouldn't know a tune if he fell over it.This is democracy...... or rather it isn't. The last time I checked that meant one person one vote. Not one person spending a small fortune voting over and over again for the same candidate"
___________________________________________
Well worth a visit blog Chart Rigger (Rock could be so good, but we make it all so rubbishy) In a post titled:British People Like When Kylie Dresses Like A Ho, So They Voted For Leon Jackson On X Factor, "Kylie came on stage and basically pole-danced on him But I like this Leon. He's no Shayne Ward, but rather a tall, dark geek like myself. Which means he's probably got a monster Jackson down his shorts." Jackson?!?! The writer, one J'ason D'luv, a great name but probably not the one he was christened with is from Los Angeles. Do they call a penis a 'Jackson' over there? Can anyone enlighten me on this one? Does Simon know? It could put the brakes on any chance of an American career for our Leon.

The Rhydian Conspiracy

The following is an e-mail and is representative of many that have been sent to the Rhydian Factor
In years to come when someone asks the question Where were you at 10:35 on 15th December 2007? most people will instantly know. They will remember the shock they were feeling and the growing, nagging thoughts that they had been stitched up. Sure they will remember the hurt but looking back they will realise that this was when they started to feel that something was wrong. Something stank about the whole affair.
Why fix a TV popularity contest?
The usual answers: money and power. Because the producers of the show can fix it they do. It's not only the telephone voting that is making them money, that is relatively small beer. What they want at the end of the show is a product that can be easily sold. Leon fits perfectly. Young, attractive, poor background, easy to control and package.
Someone who proudly proclaims their beliefs, religious convictions, who challenges the direction of their career and what songs to sing...well, I don't think so. Simon Cowell quote, "Rhydian is up his own arse". And SD, well they don't hit the right demographic.
How to fix a popularity contest?
In these post telephone scandal days producers are understandably nervous about just making the numbers up. They used to do this all the time and get away with it - how often do you see the numbers for telephone votes broken down by region and reported in your newspaper or online? Never
So how can you fix it?
1) Well you have control over contestants song choices and, in the case of Saturday night, singing partners. In Leon's case with most of his voters being teenage girls they decided to broaden his appeal to male voters too. Call for a Minogue. You can imagine the conversation. Dannii:"Kylie we want you to sing with Leon" Kylie:"Isn't he the one that you said almost wets himself on stage and sings flat?" Dannii:"Yes, but...well Simon says he can do something with my career if you agree" Kylie:" Hmmm" Dannii:" Oh, and don't bother with clothing, just wear your underwear"
2) Most voters vote after the final song in the main show. Make sure that Rhydian sings last. Less time to vote means fewer votes.
3) When it comes down to it - if all the above fails the system for logging the calls made is corruptable from the very beginning untill Dermot opens the envelope. From changing the call volumes allowed to each number - to just reporting the results as you want them to be. No one is checking. If any business was queried about a poll result they would publish the figures for every week.
Bring back the clapometer - it's probably fairer and it costs the viewing public nothing.

Rhydian Scandal:Can You Go to the Citizens Advice Bureau?

Don't just sit there - get off your arses and complain!

IF YOU COULD NOT GET THROUGH TO PLACE YOUR VOTE FOR RHYDIAN PLEASE EMAIL ALL OF THE FOLLOWING
newsdesk@notw.co.uk
talkback@the-sun.co.uk
Chris.Sproston@enablize.com (who is compiling a list of complaints).
Also, text Chris Moyles (a Rhyd fan) on 81199 tomorrow(Monday 17th)

Rhydian: King Rocker

The final hasn't even started and already the accolades and awards for Rhydian have begun.

In today's Guardian Guide in the feature Gong Show, Rhydian wins the category 'Best Use of Billy Idol's Hair' To quote:"While most singers go for a more obvious 'do'...TV star the Rhyddler realised the merit of pop-punk's greatest icon and channelled his determined spirit through his follicles. As long as Rhydian has his Idolesque, bleached blonde spikes, his voice won't fail him"

Is there time for Danniii to change one of tonights songs to King Rocker. Please!

Other news, BBC are reporting that the betting odds show that Rhydian has it all sewn up. When asked about this Simon Cowell is reported as saying, "As far as I'm aware it's tighter than a gnat's chuff...keep voting"

video~Generation X:King Rocker

Rhydian: Uptown Top Ranking

It's hard to believe that the journey is nearing the end. Soon the train that is X Factor will be pulling into the final station. Everyone will disembark, Rhydian to jump onto a different train heading to the city of Super-stardom. Leon and Same Difference will try and cadge a job working the buffet and the rest of us, holding our platform tickets, will wave them on their merry way, ... anyway, enough of train metaphors. What I really want to talk about is me, and where this website has got to in Google. Most visitors coming via a Google search arrive on expected searches such as 'Rhydian', 'Is Rhydian Gay', 'What song did Rhydian sing...' However there are far more interesting ways to get here. Here are the best.

leon jackson ratboy (number 1 on Google)
the anagrams of Rhydian Roberts Sir Hydrant Bore (1) and His Bandy Terror (1)
worst girl band in history (2) a post of mine about Hope. Number 1 is about the band The Shaggs
same difference pooper scooper (2)
Rhydian Iran (1) ; stagefright leon (4) ;Rhydmeister (3) ; Rhydian in the Simpsons (1) ;Welsh Minstrel (5) Number 1 is about thoroughbred horses.
And the one I am most proud about It looks like Marmite is back in fashion (1)
Slightly dissappointing are the following:
dreary power ballad (page 2) for a post about Niki
Rhydian wipe clean bookmark (2) beneath the Money Saving Expert forum!!!!
scary twins sing (nowhere to be seen but a no:1 for james Mastersons blog entry about Same Difference)

Rhydian:Bits and Bobs

From the Stage where The Bandy Terror, Leon, has obviously made a big impression, "tonight should be a two horse race between Rhydian and Same Difference – I’m not even sure what the other boy is called."
________________________________

Blog hip young gunslinger(don't be a rock singer) are the first blog to jump ship. Concerned that Rhydian is singing, "...seven shades of operatic shit instead of donning the sailor gear and wowing the crowd" they have switched allegiance to Same Difference. The motto they quote, "A Vote against Same Difference is A Vote For the Bullies" is actually a facebook group here which is well worth a read for the fabulous sarcastic quotes readers have written on their wall. Comments such as:
"How do you vote against them? Is there a seperate number? Can I have it?"
and
"I moved to South London and lost my faith in humanity. Then I saw Same Difference and I was healed."
and my favourite
"Earlier today I was on an ice rink and I saw this young boy performing Michael Jackson on ice skates and these bullies came over and pushed him over saying "You'll never be a pop star". I wanted to cry.Then I came home and watched Same Difference on YouTube and my faith too was restored. What God does not give us, Same Difference doth provide"
____________________________________________________

Because I'm getting kinda nervous, here is a nervous kinda video: talking heads:Psycho Killer

Rhydian: X Factor News~Jukebox Jewry

Another good summary of the current state of play from OrganGrinder in the Guardian. The piece worryingly titled 'X Factor Final:It's Wide Open' details who is singing what. It doesn't claim it is going to be a close race.
_________________________________
The Social Media Portal has a good piece on the finals, titled, "an epic battle between good and awful" There is much praise for Rhydian then this about Leon, "Judging by his nerves during the semi-final, this week could see Leon forsaking song to showcase a live panic attack instead" And about Same Difference, "Now that only the Nazis are harder to like than you, kindly take advantage of the glut of illegal weapons on the streets of Britain, and do the right thing." Seems a bit harsh.
_______________________________________________

And for a Jewish perspective of the X Factor I recommend you read Totally Jewish.com which has an article perfectly titled Jukebox Jewry. In it they state that , "Not everyone in the Jewish community agrees that the Welsh warbler is Leona's rightful heir." But then they canvas leading members of the community to get their opinions. Rabbi Aaron Goldstein, Head of Community Development of Liberal Judaism prefers SD for their cheesiness and the good role model they set for family values. But almost all the rest agree that Rhydian should win including Jon Benjamin, Chief Executive of the Board of Deputies who says: “According to the rest of my family, the blond chap who looks like he is from outer space should win, so I will follow their expert advice and agree!” Good man!

Rhydian: Bring Back The Glitter

A quick post to start the campaign to return the glam to the best X Factor contestant ever.
1) A memorable Slogan:
Bring Back the






2) An embedded video showing how it was and could be again

X Factor Rhydian Let's Get This Party Started
Uploaded by jo2306
3) I have changed the wallpaper for the blog background. Instead of the previous dull grey I have used a small square from a picture of Rhydian singing Get The Party Started. To make it even more exciting the square of glitter I used is from the crotch area.

Rhydian: Final Songs / Reasons to Vote for Rhydian # 1324

Stars on Sunday moves one day forwards and switches channels to ITV. Rhydian will sing three hymns on the show this Saturday. Oh Holy Night, You Raise Me Up (with Katherine Jenkins for some reason) and Somewhere again. The highlight of the show will be Kylie possibly committing career suicide singing Better the Devil You Know with tuneless, bandy legged Scot, Leon.

video: Cartman: Oh Holy Night
____________________________________

Apart from the obvious star quality, looks, baritone voice and dignified behaviour...The Silver Knight must win the Singing Joust because he has a burning desire to become a star. He doesn't want victory to escape poverty, right past wrongs, because he hates his life or because he received a message in a dream from his dead pet rabbit telling him to enter. He wants to become a star. This is actually quite a good reason.
Of course we want our minstrels to have a back story and to have struggled, but we want them them to have that desire for fame. A positive reason for wanting stardom, not negative.
Did you ever hear Elvis saying, “Uh...I'm doing this for my little baby twin brother Jesse who died during childbirth, Ma'am” No of course not!

The only other contestants that seem to have this fire, once you ignore the dreadful bullying backstory that the show's producers have hammered out time and again, are Same Difference. They want to entertain you so bad it hurts. They love being on the stage. That and the fact that Louis (a man who has cursed the world with Boyzone and Westlife) dislikes them should make us wish them well and maybe send a vote their way too. Say one vote for every ten you give Rhydian. If every Rhydian fan did this then Leon could end up third.
Think about it.
video: Stone Roses: I wanna Be Adored

Faeces fixated factor judge Sharon Osbourne (64) has, like a rabid dog, savaged Danniii Minogue, mentor of 2007 winner Rhydian. The woman who created Ozzfest and managed Lynsey de Paul is reported as saying "She knows she's there because of her looks, not because of her contribution to the music industry." Dannii is quoted as recently saying that sitting on a judging panel of "older people" makes her feel "younger and prettier". Simon Cowell was asked for a comment...a spokesman said, "Simon has never been and never will be gay"

_________________________________________

Rhydian has made his latest blog entry. He is excited by the forthcoming final and says that he was sad to see Niki go...apparently she used to cook a marvellous shepherds pie.
He is looking forward to Saturday's show and especially singing Scott Walker's 'Montague Terrace' , Tom Jones 'Thunderball' and his duet where he joins Kylie Minogue and they sing 'Where the Wild Roses Grow' from Nick Cave's Murder Ballads (Rumours are that Nick Cave will appear in the show to give Rhydian a coaching session in looking moody).
Actually he will be singing three dull ballads, but we can dream
video~Nick Cave & Kylie:Where the Wild Roses Grow
video~Tom Jones: Thunderball

Rhydian:Reasons to Vote for Rhydian #213/Fashion

Ignore the fact that he has the best voice, the most personality, superior hair, interesting, if unusual dance moves and superior moral values..one of the main reasons that the Rhydler deserves our vote this coming weekend is for that glitter suit and fur coat combination that he wore during Get the Party Started.

A key moment in his 'journey'. When it was first announced that Rhydian was going to do Pink some wag quipped, "Does her husband know?" Whatever, it was a perfect performance. Starting in the audience, oozing star quality. Twirling the fur coat and throwing it away - his only mistake as he planned it to cover Louis's ugly mug - to reveal the world sparkliest suit. The sort of suit that could make you be seen from the moon yet still didn't detract from a sublime vocal performance. The song also contains my favourite Rhyd vocal moment, right at the end, where he squeals, "right now".
Get your dialing fingers ready.

_____________________________________________________

There is a superb humorous article all about X Factor Fashion in the Times which asks the pertinent question whether the show is more about clothes than music, " ...one minute you’re fighting back the tears because a contestant has just revealed that her 108-year-old granny has bubonic plague, the next you’re holding your breath in case the metallic “taffeta” sausage tubes encasing Niki set the series’ entire stock of fireworks off in one go"

Mentions of Rhydian's glitter and Alexander McQueen suits are present and correct, but no mention how Sean (from married couple The Same Difference) has gone from dressing like an American high school nerd to his latest black leather jacket and white hoody look in the space of 8 weeks! Now that's a journey.
__________________________________________

The blog Xfactor.com has detailed lists of what everyone wore: week 8; week 7; week 6