Rhydiary January 31st 2008

Rhydiary january 31st 2008

I think it was an old funk song that had the line, “Fame. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Sing it again, Huh”
I was only saying to a newspaper interviewer yesterday about how, sometimes, I get worried about the whole fame thing. I know it's still early days but I feel like everyone is being too kind you see. I've no regrets about winning, sorry, I meant being the runner up, it's just I'm waiting for the backlash.
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It was such a thrill to be back in Birmingham to receive my degree. I rang Gran before the ceremony and told her what I was doing. Her first response was,
“I bet that toe rag Leon hasn't got a degree, has he?.”
“Gran!” I can't tell you how shocking she can be sometimes. I said, “You don't really need to have many qualification to be a singer, Gran.”
“Singer!” I thought she was going to explode, “That manky toothed gnome? A singer?”
She's like that Gran. She speaks her mind.

Julia was thrilled for me of course,
“Rhydian, you've got to wear your white fur coat for the ceremony,” she purred
“You're joking, “ I said, “It's not that sort of event Julia”
Sometimes, I think that Jules has spent too long in the entertainment industry. She says that she wants to get into films. She says that hours spent trowelling filler onto Sharon's face has taken its toll on her, mentally.
In the end we settled for a very stylish pin stripe suit. She dabbed powder on my forehead,
“We don't want shiny shiny now, do we Rhyd?” and stood back to look at me.
“Oh Rhydian,"she sighed, “When?”

It was a strange sort of feeling receiving my degree. Being in front of a large audience again. The urge to sing was almost overwhelming,
The Dean, University Principal and Vice Chairwoman were all sitting together on the side of the stage, just like Simon and the gang. I was tempted, I can tell you. Although I'm not sure that the Dean would have been appreciative if I had burst into Get the Party Started and thrown my graduation gown over his face. When he introduced me I was a little thrown. I was expecting the full works, you see. The big intro. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's ... but, no. He gave a small speech about fame and responsibility and then I went up to receive it. The audience were cheering and then some one shouted, “Speech”
“Thank you. This makes me feel so humble,” I mumbled.
Like a lot of singers I'm fine with a song but get quite nervous when I have to speak in public. That is the only explanation I have for what I said next.
“What do you call a Scotsman with only one GCSE?”
The whole audience, as one, shouted, “Leon”

Love, the Rhydler BA(Hons)

Rhydian: The X Factor Game #1

Sometime on Christmas day, post meal, you and your family will be sitting around wondering what to do next. Perhaps your thoughts will turn to playing a party game. But, before you reach for your Official X Factor DVD Game or even think about Charades please consider playing the Rhydian Factor Christmas Game.
What you need to play: A Rhydian and a Leon face mask. Two children's plastic swords. Two King's crowns (the party hats from your Xmas crackers will work fine).
To get the masks simply left mouse click the images on the right. The image should open up much larger. Now right mouse click on the bigger image, save it to your computer and print it off or just print it off straight away. Cut out the sections coloured in black, attach string/elastic and put the mask on your face. Get your competitor to wear the Leon 'fright' mask.
How to Play: Now each player, along with their mask, wears a crown and wields a sword. The object of the game is simple. Each must try and knock off their opponents crowns using their sword whilst , obviously, avoiding having their own crown removed. First player to be de-crowned loses. This could be your chance to re-write history. Don't let the Scared Scot win again.
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If you decide to play this game, or just wear the masks, please take photos...The Rhydian Factor will publish every single one that is sent in. Merry Christmas

Rhydian on ITV Wales, 21st Dec 2007

Charming mini interview and a bit of carol singing from the man...plus he says that he will be touring on his own after the X factor tour. Many thanks to Fay for pointing it out to me in the first place.

Rhydian On ITV Wales 21st November 2007 - Funny blooper videos are here
Other X Factor News: It's the 21st December and in a hot off the press news report titled Leon Wins, Music Mike has his say, "I have been involved in the 'Music Game' for over 40 years, working with acts of all descriptions. Long before Mr. Cowell even dreamt up his 'Quick Buck schemes', it was taken for granted that every entertainer worth their salt, had to serve an 'Apprenticeship', Simon, I am utterly disgusted with your conduct, but I suppose you have to keep earning a crust, to keep your 'conservatively expensive' cars on the road. Tell me, which type of car will Leon be driving, in 6 months time, let alone 12 months?"
I didn't realise that Leon was old enough to drive but it got me thinking...what sort of car would suit Leon? It would have to be one that has bad tuning and breaks down every ten minutes
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I reported recently about an article detailing the X Factor voting intentions of the Jewish community. Most favoured was Rhydian but one man was for Same Difference, Rabbi Aaron Goldstein, Head of Community Development of Liberal Judaism , "(he) prefers SD for their cheesiness and the good role model they set for family values. " I wonder if he will be changing his opinion after Sean was reported as saying, “I do not like paying that much for a beer. Those are London prices and I do not expect to pay that – I suppose that makes me a bit of a jewboy.”

Rhydian: News

Showbiz Spy has a good feature on Rhydian and his recent interview on Real Radio Wales. In the interview he tells about his current location in an Oxfordshire cottage, hiding from the press. He states that although very shocked when the results on Saturday were announced, he feels it may work out for the best. And he thanked his fans, "I just want to say thanks so much to any body who have believed in me, supported me or picked up the phone and voted. I said on the show, and Dermot said ‘it’s not that expensive’, but it is expensive to vote and I appreciate that."
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In recent posts I have bemoaned the lack of X Factor product available on EBay. Of course Rhydian has had clocks, mugs, T shirts, photos, car number plates and my favourite the wipe clean laminated bookmark available for weeks. The others however have had nothing until recent times. There is now a slew of tat devoted to that tuneless tyke, West Lothian lothario Leon. Highlights are a Leon Crosstitch pattern. That's right you can reproduce Leon's face using needle and thread. A seller who knows their market there!
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More great things to buy your loved ones for Christmas. How about a Futureproof website? That's right you could purchase and give them the domain name for the most inappropriately named band in music history : futureproofboys.com. Available here on Ebay for £20. The price seemed a little steep to me so I emailed the buyer asking if he would reduce it to 50p. I received this reply, "The price is an extremely fair valuation considering it cost £10 to register and that it's an extremely popular domain based on visits and Google ranking. I find your question an insult!"

The Meaning of 'Jackson'

In a previous post I quoted a blog called Chart Rigger which reviewed Leon Jackson's performance with, "(He is ) rather a tall, dark geek like myself. Which means he's probably got a monster Jackson down his shorts." At the time I pondered if 'Jackson' was an American colloquialism for penis and whether this (alongside his inability to sing in tune) would affect Leon's chances of success in that country. I am grateful for the many readers who have written in saying the original poster should have used the word 'Johnson'.
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In fact a quick check of the Urban Dictionary confirms this with the definition of 'Jackson' being:
1) It's a twenty dollar bill, not a cock
2) Slang term for excellent as used on the Sit-com Nathan Barley
lots of Michael Jackson related meanings and...
3) a shit...as you in you bout to drop one, example useage, "boy, i gotta take a jackson.."

X Factor News:Leon banned, Ofcom looks into scandal, Leon off tune

X Factor News Aplenty:
Radio stations owned by Town and Country Broadcasting in Wales have banned the winning X Factor single by swinging Leon Jackson. They've done this not on what would be perfectly acceptable grounds of taste but because listeners couldn't get through on the phone lines to vote for Rhydian. Listeners to Bridge FM, Swansea Bay Radio, Radio Carmarthenshire, Radio Pembrokeshire and Scarlet FM will be spared Leon 'tuning problems' Jackson's version of the dreadful Mariah Carey song. Expect a sudden increase in property prices in these areas as people try to move there.
Can't we all be spared the sound of Leon singing. We've suffered almost 3 months of him already.
newspaper report here
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And in scenes reminiscent of George Bush's controversial contested victory, Ofcom may look into 80 complaints from viewers unable to get through and vote. ITV has also been hit by protests as Rhydian fans flooded the ITV website with complaints and accusations that the contest was fixed.
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Also rumours have been circulating about a possible reason for Leon's 'Jazz' singing style. The voices of all the show's contestants are fed through a piece of kit called Autotunes (industry standard software that corrects minor intonation problems in real time - the Spice Girls use it religiously) It moves the pitch of the sung note to the nearest note in the key, but apparently some of the notes that Leon was hitting were so far away from the intended that Autotunes just couldn't cope. Hence the, how shall we say, improvisational feel of some of Leon's singing.

X Factor News from the Blogs

Obviously there are acres of press coverage all about X Factor and Rhydian being robbed but here at the Rhydian Factor we highlight the best, most unusual items. Articles that you may have missed.

First up a blog called Island of Dreams and in a very ominously titled Our Time Is Running Out the writer points out the signs of our coming doom, "Armageddon is coming so get thee to Tesco and stock up on tinned foods and sporting goods...The world is going stark raving crackers" the evidence, "the Tories are leading opinion polls by the greatest margin for fifteen years... unleaded is now £1.05 a litre round the corner and The Eagles have got back together. Most damning of all? Leon Jackson has won The X Factor 2007. I fully expect cats and dogs to start living together and Sunny Delight to rain down from the heavens within the next fortnight." He provides us with a perfect description of the one they are already calling, that wee Scottish guy who had one hit, you know his name , "But Leon bloody Jackson? A scrutty zig-zag of flesh with a total inability to carry a note and all the dancing skills of someone undergoing electroconvulsive therapy?" Read his full post here, it's good.
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A newly set up blog Null Points Eurovision Blog is unsure of the X Factor democratic process,"...outstanding candidate on X Factor, Rhydian Roberts gets pipped by a caterwauling Scottish midget who wouldn't know a tune if he fell over it.This is democracy...... or rather it isn't. The last time I checked that meant one person one vote. Not one person spending a small fortune voting over and over again for the same candidate"
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Well worth a visit blog Chart Rigger (Rock could be so good, but we make it all so rubbishy) In a post titled:British People Like When Kylie Dresses Like A Ho, So They Voted For Leon Jackson On X Factor, "Kylie came on stage and basically pole-danced on him But I like this Leon. He's no Shayne Ward, but rather a tall, dark geek like myself. Which means he's probably got a monster Jackson down his shorts." Jackson?!?! The writer, one J'ason D'luv, a great name but probably not the one he was christened with is from Los Angeles. Do they call a penis a 'Jackson' over there? Can anyone enlighten me on this one? Does Simon know? It could put the brakes on any chance of an American career for our Leon.

Rhydian: X Factor News~Jukebox Jewry

Another good summary of the current state of play from OrganGrinder in the Guardian. The piece worryingly titled 'X Factor Final:It's Wide Open' details who is singing what. It doesn't claim it is going to be a close race.
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The Social Media Portal has a good piece on the finals, titled, "an epic battle between good and awful" There is much praise for Rhydian then this about Leon, "Judging by his nerves during the semi-final, this week could see Leon forsaking song to showcase a live panic attack instead" And about Same Difference, "Now that only the Nazis are harder to like than you, kindly take advantage of the glut of illegal weapons on the streets of Britain, and do the right thing." Seems a bit harsh.
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And for a Jewish perspective of the X Factor I recommend you read Totally Jewish.com which has an article perfectly titled Jukebox Jewry. In it they state that , "Not everyone in the Jewish community agrees that the Welsh warbler is Leona's rightful heir." But then they canvas leading members of the community to get their opinions. Rabbi Aaron Goldstein, Head of Community Development of Liberal Judaism prefers SD for their cheesiness and the good role model they set for family values. But almost all the rest agree that Rhydian should win including Jon Benjamin, Chief Executive of the Board of Deputies who says: “According to the rest of my family, the blond chap who looks like he is from outer space should win, so I will follow their expert advice and agree!” Good man!

The X Factor Drinking Game

Another contribution to the Rhydian Factor from lightupvirginmary, exitainment. Tiss just mere days till the grand joust and we beseech you to celebrate Sir Hydrant Bore's victory over The Bandy Terror, not with a common ale, but with the finest meade in the land. My lords and ladies I giveth you:

The X Factor Final Drinking Game!
Your drink of choice, but I suggest measures of one shot or one glass of wine, or one pint of beer... warning, you will be absolutely HAMMERED by the end of this.
You must down your drink in one for any mention of...
'a journey...'
'you've come such a long way'
'that was a very safe performance'
'you'd better do better with your second song'
'the voting is really close'
'I think you're at risk'
'fabulous!'
'nailed it'
'owned the stage'
Simon saying any of the following...
'karaoke'
'cabaret'
'wedding'
'hotel'
'world class'
'100%'- one shot
'110%' two shots
'150%'- three shots
'a million/ billion/ trillion percent'- four shots- god help you.
Bonus drinks...
Any of the judges or contestants crying
Dermot crying
Simon alluding to Louis being gay
Louis alluding to Simon being gay
Dannii making an inappropriate whooping sound
Sharon mentioning her kids/ Ozzy
Kelly Osbourne in the audience
Louis dissing Dannii's pop career
Simon winking
Louis squinting
Louis mentioning Westlife
Simon stands up to applaud someone's act
Sharon dances to someone's act
Any past contestants spotted in audience
Any mention of Leona Lewis or Shayne Ward
Any of the judges commenting on the other's plastic surgery/ hair/ teeth
The acts being forced to perform a medley
Louis saying either Beverley or Niki should be in the final
Sharon saying 'I'm impartial'
Any mention of dead relatives/ poverty/ illness/ the awful jobs they will have to go back to
Specialist contestant section (choose your favourite):
Leon
If he wears a waistcoat
Any mention of Michael Buble
If he clasps his hands together in prayer
If he mentions how he has to do it for his mum
If he shakes
Rhydian
If he wears something glittery
If they play 'Phantom of the Opera' music to introduce him
Any mention of Wales
Any judge saying 'we're looking at the winner'
If he does an overlong plea for votes and Dermot has to interrupt him
The Same Difference
If they look longingly into each others eyes
If there are more than 10 other people on stage with them (distraction technique!)
Louis shaking his head in disgust whilst they are on
Louis saying anything about Butlins
Any mention of bullying
Any shots of their local working men's club

Rhydian: bits and pieces

Only a week to go till the Welsh minstrel is crowned Lord of the Singing Joust. So maybe we should join the fans of the one they are calling the Diminutive Des O'Connor on their Bebo site and leave him some fanmail. Don't forget to spell check your comments before you paste them here as they are quite picky and precise when it comes to language,
share the luv

u better get throw anyway no other singer in scotland has went THIS FAR from being 1 MILLION pound singer
YEY leon is mint he is well better than that fuckin ridean with shit hair !!!
Let me spell it out for you. L-E-O-N-C-A-N-T-S-I-N-G-T-O-S-A-V-E-H-I-S-L-I-F-E. He is useless. Him or Rhydian so should have went.
Leon you R gorjus! WOOT WOOT!

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A couple of blog entries worth a quick look, the sloth (Ramblings from a Sloth, when I can be bothered!) in a post titled the wuss factor and with a picture of Leon, despairs at the sob stories and tears of this years contestants. All of them, "And then there's Leon, who seems on the verge of tears all the time, even during his flaky performances. He hasn't even got a proper sob story..."

And No damn blog(The rants, raves and ramblings of an author and editor living in the land of the long lunch) "Niki bellows; Leon tremolos; Same Difference franticise. The smell of fear and desperation seeps from the television screen during the X Factor semi-finals.And then along comes Rhydian the magician, who just stands there, legs wide apart, and delivers. No contest."

NB: frantasise : to make oneself frantic, particularly in advance of some event
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Other X Factor news: The site and domain name futureproofboys.co.uk is available to buy NOW...don't all rush at once
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A fan of the Silver Knight sent in these anagrams to the Rhydian Factor. Clearly someone with too much time on their hands:
Simon Cowell: Low con slime
Same Difference: Fried semen face
Leon Jackson: A no lens Jock, Clan joke son, and perhaps the best, nan Jock lose
Rhydian Roberts as well as having more in the star and vocal quality departments also wins out in the anagram stakes too. Just some of the good ones:
Following the King Arthur theme we have, Sir Dabfry Heron, Sir Bernhard Toy, Sir Thorny Bread and easily my favourite, Sir Hydrant Bore.

Other good ones, Sherry Riot Band (a great name for a hardcore metal band who like the odd glass of Bristol Cream) , Rabid then Sorry and even one that sounds like it's about Leon, His bandy terror.

Rhydian: What's in a name #2

What seems like years ago I highlighted definitions of the name Rhydian in the online Urban Dictionary My full post is here and contains Urban Dictionary's most bizarre definition, "Resembles John McCririck in action and appearance"

I have just been told that they have an entry for 'Ridian', a common misspelling of 2007's X Factor winner. Bizarrely the main definition appears to perfectly sum up X Factor runner up (loser) Leon: Ridian: A person who resembles a rabbit in appearance (Big ears buck teeth) and/or personality (hyper and jumpy). In short rabbit + Person = Ridian.
And their example of usage: Dude, stop eating all the carrots! Don't be such a Ridian.
And the entry for Leon is even more unusual: Leon: Characterised by large hair, also known as helmet head. Example of use "My Leon helmet protects me from hail!"

Rhydian: Songs for Dannii to Pick

A combination of (not obvious) songs for Rhydian to sing with a dream about Rhydian. In my dream it is final night and there is one song left for Rhyd, Leon and SD. Same difference have just done I Got You Babe whilst dressed as Barbie and Ken and bouncing on trampolines for the songs duration. Leon's turn. He sings Elvis's Hound Dog. And like on the 1956 Ed Sullivan show the cameraman and editors show Leon only from the waist up. Not because his sensual gyrations may cause hysteria but because producers are worried that he may wet himself in fear live on national TV.
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Now its Rhydian. The songs opening chords and the audience instantly recognise Morrissey's lament The World Is Full of Crashing Bores. He sings, "You must be wondering how, the boy next door turned out. Have a care, But don't stare, because he's still there" The camera cuts to Rhydian's family in the audience, looking so proud but tears flowing down their faces. They know he's going to win and this moment is special but also he will never be the same again. Rhydian gets to the chorus, confident, walking to the front of the stage right in front of Sharon and he sings it to her, "They who wish to hurt you, Work within the law. This world is full, so full of crashing bores."
By now the whole audience are on their feet shouting out, hollering. Sharon looks like she is going to be sick. He begins the second verse as all of the 12 finalists walk onto the stage behind him,
"No it's just more lock jawed pop stars.
Thicker than pig shit, nothing to convey.
They're so scared to show intelligence.
It might smear their lovely career"
One more chorus then pandemonium as he finishes arms outstretched, eyes closed, "Take me, take me, won't you take me in your arms and Love Me"

MP3: Morrissey-the World is Full of Crashing Bores
video:Elvis :Hound Dog

X Factor eXecration #2

The Rhydian Factor is so confident of a Rhydian victory we have a guest writer that doesn't even like him - although no doubt that will change once she has had more exposure to him. What other fan blog does that? Lightupvirginmary writes a blog called Exitainment (vitriolic reviews, mainly focused on trashy TV) and now is featured in The Rhydian Factor
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The Mirror have written an article slating Dermy! It's a little unfair, let's face it, he's a vast improvement on Kate 'shoutypuppeteer' Thornton. Although I quite enjoyed her continuous fashion blunders. Do you think she ever watches X these days? She probably watches it wearing Bridget Jones style undies and shovelling ice creamdown her throat, whilst simultaneously sobbing and sticking pins in an effigy of the Cowell. Anyway, I digress. I think the main problem with Dermot on X factor, is he's clearly Simon's bitch and nothing more. He might as well be a Ryan Seacrest doll. Big Brother's Little Brother was goddawful inparts, but at least Dermot got to be himself. On X Factor, he is just a toy, and his personality is quashed. But the whole show isn't about Dermot, as this article lies! He is just the advert glue. The article goes on to compare Leon to Fame Academy David Platt-alike David Sneddon! Nooooo! That is completely unnacceptable. Now Ainslie would be a different story... mmm, Ainslie...

Rhydian in the Simpsons

News reaches The Rhydian Factor of plans for Rhydian and some of the other contestants to appear in an episode of the Simpsons next year. It's still early days but the episode is believed to revolve around Homer starting a talent agency in Springfield. He strikes a major coup by gaining the American rights of the X Factor 2007 contestants in a naked fireside wrestle with Simon Cowell. Rhydian appears be-quiffed in his deep blue suit along with his faithful singing cat called Niki. Same Difference are depicted as Siamese twins who, when they aren't performing, bicker about trivial issues. In the story a rival agent unleashes a psychotic Celine Dion robot, which has a voice that can destroy buildings, to cause mayhem in the town and turn the residents against Homer. At the climax of the show Celine is in the nuclear plant about to sing it down when Rhydian and Niki confront her. Rhydian sings You Raise Me Up to her thus making her speechless, soundless and thankfully harmless for ever.
The show ends with the town celebrating and dancing in the streets to the soundtrack of Leon's comedy version of Crazy Little Thing Called Love
simpsonise yourself

Rhydian: Week 7 Early blog news

Hooray, Hope have gone. A quick round up of the early posters in the blog world.

Bright light (Approved by Aled Jones) The blog always does straight, nice, summaries of each show and they get last night's performance by Rhydian spot on, "He (Rhydian) made Freddy Mercury’s song his own; a wonderful exciting performance! He owned the song and the stage"

Peggy's Dame Shirley Bassey blog (Shirley is Forever) The blog for all your Bassey needs,says, "Rhydian sang another Dame Shirley Bassey song on tonight’s show,I Vow To Thee My Country / World In Union complete with a big Welsh-sounding chorus.
Rhydian was nervous and said he was below par this week. He didn’t show it. The song was perfect for the rugby-mad patriotic Welshman with a splendid operatically trained voice."
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Amies cool Blog (just freaking read it) Amie has a different reaction to SD than most people, "That was so freaking boring. The only act that waz good was same difference cos they kept me awake." and a good critique of song genre selection, "Don’t think Rhydian should be singing hymns, my little cous sings that at assembly." then gets Hope spot on, "No Hope were crap as always. Raquel doing the lead was funny though, cos she’s so freaking bad." and the man they aren't calling the Speyside Sinatra has the opposite effect to SD,"Leon, I was nodding off he was so boring. " It's possible that Same Difference and Leon's future lays in creating the perfect radio/alarm - one that lulls you to sleep instantly then wakes you every morning pepped up and ready to face the day.

And finally, next weeks loser, Niki, "... someone said she had an eating disorder. I don’t think it’s anorexia you know what I’m saying? And what Century was them songs from? The most exciting thing about her last song was the coffee pot whistling but if you weren’t at Luce’s you wouldn’t have heard that… unless you was making coffee too. "
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And a general post about the decline of Western Civilisation and this years X Factor from, dirty martini (old music for new people), "now, i love the x factor but this year it’s going downhill....

louis is doing that odd rocking backwards and forwards thing again which makes him look like an outpatient on bingo leave... dannii is clearly trying to rise above the unspoken criticism that she’s in no position to judge anyone’s singing ability. " Or maybe it's Brian's fault, " if they place the decline of this year’s x factor squarely at Brian Friedman's feet, as well they might, he’ll sing like a canary. a really camp one. " and his basic advice can be summed up as follows, " forget the fact that simon is running out of non-incestuous songs for same difference. we need to start over. "

Rhydian has sea fungus named after him

Hairy Sea Fungus named after Rhydian, reports magazine Ocean. 'The stone, exhibited at the 3rd China (International) Treasure Stone Exhibition, is around 30 cm long and has 15cm long white hair. Staff of the exhibition say the hair must be the remains of a kind of fungus, which grows on the surface of the stone and makes it look like a hairy head. Experts at the Institute of Oceanology, Chinese Academy of Sciences say the thick, white hairs are actually sea plants of the genus Lyopodoea that up till now have not been categorised. It was a British worker at the academy that came up with the name for the sea fungus. Brian Jones, a keen X Factor fan said, "We believe it is from the Lyopodea family and when you see it from a certain angle it looks just like Rhydian (first Welsh winner of the X factor) so we have named it Lyopodea Rhydius"'

Take that Leon"i dont beleve hes pulled emily out of hope i mean like NO WAY!" Jackson - have you got a fungus named after you? I think not.

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And as the nation waits expectantly for the removal of Hope tonight we finish with a quote from Milton's Paradise Lost:"So farewell hope, and, with hope, farewell fear, Farewell remorse!"....GO! RHYDIAN

The Best X Factor Review...ever

Due to circumstances beyond my control I will be unable to watch the live X Factor show this Saturday and because I always like to post a review of Rhydian's performance as quickly as possible I offered the job of Rhydian Factor reviewer to applicants in the Digital Spy forums. After aptitude tests, attitudinal studies and an interview the chosen one is Furry Monkey.
And I was perfectly happy with this arrangement until I stumbled upon the blog Primi Divi which is an open opera review blog. Somehow the reviewer , "yay i got into my bros account again!!!!!" has accessed his opera loving brother's account and decided to use it to review X Factor. I would urge you to visit the link before the post is taken down. It is probably the best X factor review I've found yet.
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First our man sets the scene, "i thoght it was time the primi divi revueed some proper music...most of the crap acts have gone now like daniel and future proof" then he brings us up to date with who was eliminated from the competition, "beverly went last week, i mean major respect to her and she looks ok 4 a 38 year old, i wouldnt but i bet my bro wld coz hes desprate!!!!!!"
Barely time to catch your breath before Niki's talents are assessed, "ok so nicky...she like puts everything into it all the time, sumtimes it dont work but like she tried, taking risks is good and i mean she is hot, nicky if the singing dont work out want to come n be a dinner lady at my skewl????"
Now, our man, "n yeh rhydian, the primi divvys havent even revued him, i mean how up themselves is that, hes like a proper opera singer, wots there problem with this guy whos done all the opera crap but decides he wants 2 sing pop coz its just like better???? he is a bit gay tho tbh."
On to Scotland's answer to Ray, "(leon) id go for a drink with him but hes hardly like world class is he and i dont beleve hes pulled emily out of hope i mean like NO WAY!!!!!!!!!"
And the prozac pair, "same difference i mean like cringe wot r they doing how old r they???? i just dont get them at all tbh maybe they cld do kids parties but ive been way too cool for all that shit since ive been like born."
But can you guess the reviewers favourite act, yes exactly its, "HOPE have only known each other like a few weeks but allready there like totally comfrtble with each other, they can make there voices sound gd so like stop dising hope ok there doing sumthin fkin amazing when u think bout it"
De mon set the fkin bar hi Furry Monkey!
(I've just tried to spell check this document and after an hour I've given up)
X Factor review on Primi Divi

Rhydian: Fantasy X Factor week 2

It's still what seems like an age till we feast on some new performances by Rhydian...so it's time to play Fantasy X Factor; imagine how good this program could really be. Week 2.
After the disastrous Jacques Brel theme in week 1, memories of Kimberley's version of Mathilde are thankfully fading. Simon announces, "This week we are going to up the energy levels a little - it's Post Punk week." Most of the acts struggle except, oddly, Hope who give by far their best performance of the series replicating Delta 5's 'Why Don't You Mind Your Own Business' to perfection and Leon who gives a feisty peformance of 'Rip It Up' by Orange Juice. Then it's time for the one everyone is waiting for...the intro features Simon, again, saying, "I Think Rhydians taking a very big risk with this song..the sort of hallowed song you shouldn't go near. He could fall flat on his face this week"
Ladiesssss and Gentlemen, It'ssssss Rhydiann! The bassline starts and it becomes instantly clear that he is going to sing Atmosphere by Joy Division, the audience are on their feet cheering. Dressed all in black, no theatrics, he sings it straight with a pure voice; an operatic, heartfelt version. The audience errupt.
Unfortunately this is the week that Daniel is eliminated for his confused version of The Gang of Four's 'Love Like Anthrax' and Emily after receiving negative comments from Louis attacks him backstage with a baseball bat. She is thrown off the show.

videos: delta 5: mind your own..., Joy Division:Atmosphere, Orange Juice: Rip It Up, Magazine: Permafrost, Gang of 4:Love Is Like Anthrax

Rhydian: Is Leon the main threat?

Is Leon 'stagefright' Jackson the main threat to the Rhydmeisters X Factor victory and ensuing world domination? Can the Scottish Sinatra, as he hasn't been dubbed, really be the nemesis of the Welsh Wonder? At The Rhydian factor we have spent the day scouring the internet to examine his support. We have lurked in chat rooms, watched forums and loitered in Bebo. In fact it is in Bebo where most of his support is to be found. There and West Lothian anyway. We can't find anyone blogging supporting him, except bizarrely the Rhydian Factor correspondent at Exitainment.

On the Scots Backing Leon Bebo support page mostly it is fans comments, such as:-
"OMG Leon is fickin amazin likees!"
"Fucking danni is nicer 2 rhydian >=( "
"Leon ur some gawjus boy even tough i aint sottish"
"I antT scotish but I love Leon"
"Whistle for a hottie WOOP WOOP"
All good and true comments. I have added my own comment on this page(right hand column of comments). It reads:
"Leon, your voice resonates between an almost spoken-like quietness and full-on operatics. When you sing a song every word is totally believable. Your voice is robust and capable of many subtle tones and if I had to compare it to anything then I would liken it to the sonorous tones of a viola"

Week 6: Leon does Ray Charles

It is hard to describe in words what it was like watching Leon 'the stagefright' Jackson singing You Don't Know Me on X Factor last night. So hard that we have to resort to a visual video metaphor.



With apologies to Pitchfork media. Their idea I just nicked it.