Saturday, 1 December 2007

Rhydian has sea fungus named after him

Hairy Sea Fungus named after Rhydian, reports magazine Ocean. 'The stone, exhibited at the 3rd China (International) Treasure Stone Exhibition, is around 30 cm long and has 15cm long white hair. Staff of the exhibition say the hair must be the remains of a kind of fungus, which grows on the surface of the stone and makes it look like a hairy head. Experts at the Institute of Oceanology, Chinese Academy of Sciences say the thick, white hairs are actually sea plants of the genus Lyopodoea that up till now have not been categorised. It was a British worker at the academy that came up with the name for the sea fungus. Brian Jones, a keen X Factor fan said, "We believe it is from the Lyopodea family and when you see it from a certain angle it looks just like Rhydian (first Welsh winner of the X factor) so we have named it Lyopodea Rhydius"'
Take that Leon"i dont beleve hes pulled emily out of hope i mean like NO WAY!" Jackson - have you got a fungus named after you? I think not.
And as the nation waits expectantly for the removal of Hope tonight we finish with a quote from Milton's Paradise Lost
:"So farewell hope, and, with hope, farewell fear, Farewell remorse!"....GO! RHYDIAN

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Friday, 30 November 2007

Rhydian: News

Fridays always seem a bit slow on the Rhydian and X Factor news front and today is no different. Shock, horror! Both the Daily Mail's showbiz correspondent and the Mirror have just discovered that Rhydian's hair colour may not be completely natural and that he is actually ginger. The piece in the Mail tries to make something of a story that wasn't really news 6 weeks ago and debates whether he is a 'traitor to his ginger roots'
As the Rhydler prepares to show up the rest of the competition for the second rate karaoke singers they truly are Digital Spy reports that there is conflict in the Simon's other group, married couple Same Difference. Apparently she's left her room messy and hasn't learnt her harmony lines. He's a moaner because she hasn't had time, what with having to do all the washing and iron his y-fronts.
Then there is the missing cat Cornflake that spent six days on the X Factor set, after being transported there in a joiner's van. A source on the set said, "Some of the staff had periodically heard this odd high pitched screeching sound but they just assumed it was Niki in a rehearsal room somewhere"

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Thursday, 29 November 2007

The Best X Factor Review...ever

Due to circumstances beyond my control I will be unable to watch the live X Factor show this Saturday and because I always like to post a review of Rhydian's performance as quickly as possible I offered the job of Rhydian Factor reviewer to applicants in the Digital Spy forums. After aptitude tests, attitudinal studies and an interview the chosen one is Furry Monkey.
And I was perfectly happy with this arrangement until I stumbled upon the blog Primi Divi which is an open opera review blog. Somehow the reviewer , "yay i got into my bros account again!!!!!" has accessed his opera loving brother's account and decided to use it to review X Factor. I would urge you to visit the link before the post is taken down. It is probably the best X factor review I've found yet.

First our man sets the scene, "i thoght it was time the primi divi revueed some proper music...most of the crap acts have gone now like daniel and future proof" then he brings us up to date with who was eliminated from the competition, "beverly went last week, i mean major respect to her and she looks ok 4 a 38 year old, i wouldnt but i bet my bro wld coz hes desprate!!!!!!"
Barely time to catch your breath before Niki's talents are assessed, "
ok so nicky...she like puts everything into it all the time, sumtimes it dont work but like she tried, taking risks is good and i mean she is hot, nicky if the singing dont work out want to come n be a dinner lady at my skewl????"
Now, our man, "n yeh rhydian, the primi divvys havent even revued him, i mean how up themselves is that, hes like a proper opera singer, wots there problem with this guy whos done all the opera crap but decides he wants 2 sing pop coz its just like better???? he is a bit gay tho tbh."
On to Scotland's answer to Ray, "(leon) id go for a drink with him but hes hardly like world class is he and i dont beleve hes pulled emily out of hope i mean like NO WAY!!!!!!!!!"
And the prozac pair, "same difference i mean like cringe wot r they doing how old r they???? i just dont get them at all tbh maybe they cld do kids parties but ive been way too cool for all that shit since ive been like born."
But can you guess the reviewers favourite act, yes exactly its, "HOPE
have only known each other like a few weeks but allready there like totally comfrtble with each other, they can make there voices sound gd so like stop dising hope ok there doing sumthin fkin amazing when u think bout it"
De mon set the fkin bar hi Furry Monkey!
(I've just tried to spell check this document and after an hour I've given up)

X Factor review on Primi Divi

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Rhydian: Somebody to Love/I vow to Thee My Country

Week 7 and things are getting serious. Two songs to sing each and Rhydian has been given a couple of corkers. Q****'s Somebody To Love Me and the hymn I Vow To Thee My Country. It's like given a psychotic a loaded gun. There is going to be mayhem in the X Factor studio as Rhydian wipes out the opposition. This is the week where the others give up hope, literally.
When I first saw that Rhydian was singing Somebody To Love Me I immediately assumed it was the 1960s Jefferson Airplane song. Thinking they had changed the theme to Hippy Week I quickly scanned down the list desperately hoping for Niki to be singing a Janis Joplin song, Leon some Jimmy Hendrix. Then I realised it was the eXecrable Q****'s 1976 piece. Damn! Still, it will highlight the Rhydman's vocal perfectly and the hymn will be sublime. Get your hankies ready Danniiii.
There are lots of interesting covers of Somebody... and it appears to have a good deal of history being used in reality pop shows.
Anne Hathaway Absolutely charming version from the film Ella Enchanted. No histrionics just performed with a lightness of touch and humour. The best!
Elliot Yamin From American Idol 5. He's a shouter. God, can he shout. And by the look of him the only way that anybody will be able to 'find him somebody to love' is if he's paying for it.
Ben Mills When critics criticise this years competition as being weak(except for Rhyd) they may have a point. Accapella version. Surprisingly good. Extra bonus points for not featuring Brian May's guitar
Tarisai Vushe from Aussie Idol 2007 - worth listening to for the introduction, "from Q****'s ridiculously pompous album..." but for nothing else
George Michael Very close to Freddie Mercury's vocals, sung with Q***n, oh dear.
Brittany Murphy from Happy Feet. Too showy by half
My computer refused to load the G4 version on the grounds of taste
video: Anne Hathaway:Somebody To Love Me

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Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Rhydian: Fantasy X Factor week 2

It's still what seems like an age till we feast on some new performances by it's time to play Fantasy X Factor; imagine how good this program could really be. Week 2.
After the disastrous Jacques Brel theme in week 1, memories of Kimberley's version of Mathilde are thankfully fading. Simon announces, "This week we are going to up the energy levels a little - it's Post Punk week."
Most of the acts struggle except, oddly, Hope who give by far their best performance of the series replicating Delta 5's 'Why Don't You Mind Your Own Business' to perfection and Leon who gives a feisty peformance of 'Rip It Up' by Orange Juice. Then it's time for the one everyone is waiting for...the intro features Simon, again, saying, "I Think Rhydians taking a very big risk with this song..the sort of hallowed song you shouldn't go near. He could fall flat on his face this week"
Ladiesssss and Gentlemen, It'ssssss Rhydiann! The bassline starts and it becomes instantly clear that he is going to sing Atmosphere by Joy Division, the audience are on their feet cheering. Dressed all in black, no theatrics, he sings it straight with a pure voice; an operatic, heartfelt version. The audience errupt.
Unfortunately this is the week that Daniel is eliminated for his confused version of The Gang of Four's 'Love Like Anthrax' and Emily after receiving negative comments from Louis attacks him backstage with a baseball bat. She is thrown off the show.

videos: delta 5: mind your own..., Joy Division:Atmosphere, Orange Juice: Rip It Up, Magazine: Permafrost, Gang of 4:Love Is Like Anthrax

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Rhydian: X Factor News

Some quick highlights of recent X Factor News that may have escaped fans. The top Simon Cowell blog Simon Times (quoting a Sun article) reports that the scandal the nation is calling Skate Gate is still rumbling on. Brian Friedman said, “Simon took particular offence to the roller skates the other week...I honestly don’t believe he didn’t like them – it’s hypocritical. He loves the the dances when it’s his acts, but when others do it, it’s camp."
A bizarre article from the Daily Mail reports of a disquieting violent incident in Wales. A lorry driver called Anthony Calvert (45)from Aberystwyth , flew into a rage in a bar when Adam Davies, 19, compared him to Simon Cowell(who by law we must describe as X-Factor's Mr Nasty), saying: "You look just like Simon Cowell". Mr Calvert: "I asked if he was taking the p*** out of me. He said: "Yes, I f***ing am!". I felt threatened and assaulted him."
Mr Calvert does bear a resemblance to Cowell but only from the eyebrows upwards. (see the article for a photo)
Tensions are obviously running high in Wales and it's still 3 weeks to the final. If Rhydian doesn't win (not 3 words you will see together often) then expect it to kick off big time.

The Rugby Observer reports on Futureproof (X Factor losers) switching on the town's Christmas lights. It also quashes rumours that the band are splitting:the rumour was that the two short guys were forming a duo called Bookends and the three tall ones were going to rebrand themselves as Betamax. Simply not true.
Rhydian Factor blog of the day is James Masterson(totally not notable) and his perceptive take on the competition this year, first up, "...the Scary Twins. Now I don't care how well you are able to sing or how good you look in a twirly dress, if you gaze down the TV screen with intense pinprick staring eyes you are simply going to scare the crap out of me. .. half the country is convinced the brother and sister duo are sleeping with each other... The evil part of me actually wants them to end up coming close to winning, just to see if one or both of them finally does wet themselves on stage in excitement." His good taste continues, "Leon has been so unremarkable over the past few weeks that he hasn't even developed enough of a personality to get a nickname"
Now onto our man, "
For the first few weeks it seemed almost a foregone conclusion that Robot Boy[Robot Boy!?] was going to stroll off with the contest. The producers appear to be taking a perverse delight in placing him in as many ridiculous situations and settings as possible, all the while setting off his already somewhat unique image. The best thing about him of course is that no matter what the setting, no matter how campy the performance, all he has to do is open his mouth and he is Mario Lanza reborn." Well said that man.
Jim Shelly article in today's Guardian. How to make an X Factor TV Dinner, "Toss in a stomach-turning, gurning brother-and-sister combo, five ultrafrothy Sugababes and a poor man's Gareth Gates you can find in any cheap supermarket (opening it)." No idea who he is referring to.
New Rhydian Product on E Bay ALERT!: The Rhydian Pillow £7.49 Pillowcase with Rhydian image. Cream or white colour. Wording '...... loves Rhydian'. The winner can have their name put on the pillowcase (included in the price). Standard size.
I can see the Rhyd Pillow selling well. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the Same Difference Pooper Scooper. Still no offers.

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Rhyian:to sing Mariah & Whitney Song When He Wins

The X Factor 2007 winner will be given the song When You Believe by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. A fix - they've chosen a song with one singer in mind, er, Leona. What is it with Simon and the sort of melismatic power ballad warbling beloved of Mariah and her ilk? Is this seriously what he thinks tasteful/good pop music is about? Or are the rights to the song going cheap?
Exclusive Directors Cut of When You Believe Me

It is almost worth voting for Same Difference for the 'pleasure' of hearing them sing it; they only have a range of one octave (5 notes Sean and 3 notes Sarah).
I'm sure everyone can come up with a list of quality songs that would give the majority of contestants a chance to shine, ones that you wouldn't mind having hammered into your head every day for four weeks over Christmas. The winner should sing either one of the songs they've sung during the live shows,or, better still, why can't the public vote for the track to sing. Strange Fruit anyone? Anything, but Mariah.


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Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Rhydian: Is Leon the main threat?

Is Leon 'stagefright' Jackson the main threat to the Rhydmeisters X Factor victory and ensuing world domination? Can the Scottish Sinatra, as he hasn't been dubbed, really be the nemesis of the Welsh Wonder? At The Rhydian factor we have spent the day scouring the internet to examine his support. We have lurked in chat rooms, watched forums and loitered in Bebo. In fact it is in Bebo where most of his support is to be found. There and West Lothian anyway. We can't find anyone blogging supporting him, except bizarrely the Rhydian Factor correspondent at Exitainment.
On the Scots Backing Leon Bebo support page mostly it is fans comments, such as:-
"OMG Leon is fickin amazin likees!"
"Fucking danni is nicer 2 rhydian >=( "
"Leon ur some gawjus boy even tough i aint sottish"
"I antT scotish but I love Leon"
"Whistle for a hottie WOOP WOOP"
All good and true comments. I have added my own comment on this page(right hand column of comments). It reads:
Leon, your voice resonates between an almost spoken-like quietness and full-on operatics. When you sing a song every word is totally believable. Your voice is robust and capable of many subtle tones and if I had to compare it to anything then I would liken it to the sonorous tones of a viola"

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X Factor eXecration #1

The Rhydian Factor is so confident of a Rhydian victory we have a guest writer that doesn't even like him - although no doubt that will change once she has had more exposure to him. What other fan blog does that? Lightupvirginmary writes a blog called Exitainment (mainly focused on trashy TV) and now is featured in The Rhydian Factor
Shayne 'No U Hang Up' Ward's golden nuggets of wisdom on the Final 6 (make that 5 now):
Shayne on Leon: 'He needs to deal with negative comments.' He does deal with them! The only comments you ever got was Sharon borderline indecently-assaulting you in public.
Shayne on Hope: 'Full of energy and like the Spice Girls' i.e. they can't sing.
Beverley... well, we know how that ended.
Same Difference: 'they crack me up... watch this space.' I've been watching it. Nothing happened.
Niki: 'Sings from the heart' i.e. rolls out her sob story every week and squeezes a tear out in the hope of securing the granny/ gullible vote.
Rhydian: 'He's classic- a God-given talent... reminds me of Chico' Hold on, that's a bit of a contradiction. Chico's only God-given talent was being a genetically-engineered sleazy Spanish waiter whom you'd run screaming from if he approached you on holiday. He was less a talent and more of a repellent. Still, at least Chico had something loveable about him!

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Rhydian:Songs to Sing for Best of British Week

An interesting choice of song for Rhydian to sing on Best of British night was suggested by Sparrow Girl on the Digital Spy forum. Prince Charming by Adam Ant. The song has a great Red Indian chant intro that Rhydian could do well. If Rhydian is going to give an over the top camp performance for one of his songs this Saturday then maybe this could be the one. Certainly the vocals wouldn't cause him any problems. Or the dance moves. But would he be prepared to swing across the stage on a chandelier? I'm not sure but it might just work.
Even better would be if the X factor producers used the other remaining contestants as extras for Rhydian's performance, all dressed up as dandies as in the video. Wouldn't it be truly superb to see him singing, "Ridicule is nothing to be scared of" to Hope and the others.

(For any readers unfamiliar with Digital Spy it has the best X Factor forums and of course a massive
Rhydler Appreciation Thread. But newcomers beware, there are some scary rooms in there, in particular over 1000 pages of Eton Road Appreciation. The Rhydian Factor takes no responsibilities for the content of external sites)

MP3 Adam Ant:Prince charming
video Adam Ant: Prince Charming The video receives this classic comment by one viewer on You Tube, "I was thinking this seemed really gay until the greased male dancers showed up"

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Rhydian: News...Rhydian (not Phoebe) is a Dog!

A good review of last Saturday's perfomance on ROT WATCH. Highlights, "Rhydian stole the show...he managed to bring a tear to Rotwatcher's peep, while Mrs Rot was weeping buckets. Leon was ok, if you like crooner re-treads. Hope did a Christina Aguilera song which I didn't now, which I find no compulsion to remedy. Phoebe has a horrible, harsh instrument and some serious intonation problems...Simon must have paid for armies of tin-eared monkeys to phone to keep Same Difference"
Fearne Cotton in This Is Scotland is quoted as saying, "I think Rhydian is great. Career-wise he could be really successful and at this point I would put my money on him" but then loses all our respect when she confuses vunerability with stagefright, "I really like Leon because he gets really nervous and I think that you get to see his vulnerability"
Organ Grinder in the Guardian asks, Is This Really A Talent Show? and makes the usual points, but about Rhydian he says
,"(He) made a glorious comeback from last week's lacklustre performance. He gave us a goosebump-inducing version of West Side Story's Somewhere. Sharon rightly pointed out what a huge mistake Andrew Lloyd Webber had made by not noticing Rhydian's talent for musical theatre in the auditions for Joseph."
RHYDIAN NEWS OF THE DAY is from Dogs (Bring Joy, adopt a dog) which is a dog adoption blog (I kid you not). They have a great looking new greyhound to adopt, called, Rhydian.
"Rhydian is 5 months old and was found straying in County Durham. He has a touch of kennel cough poor lad, but he is gorgeous. He races around and throws himself at you.He is a very obedient lad, house-trained, good with everyone and everything. He will need a home with the time and patience to train and socialise a pup."
Don't all rush at once.

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Monday, 26 November 2007

Rhydian:week 7 is Best of British Week

Week 7 on the X Factor is Best of British Week. All acts will sing 2 songs. Surely we don't have to sit through Niki and the rest of them murdering two innocent songs. Couldn't Rhydian sing 6 and the other four acts sing 1 a piece. Best of British also brings up the spectre of a Queen song. Many are already clammering for the Rhydification of Boh Rhap, Don't Stop Me Now or Flash. If Danniiii wants her man to go pop/rock opera then we suggest something a little more sophisticated; The Associates. Or, if she still wants bombast we have the perfect suggestion,Stockholm Syndrome by Muse.
Stockholm Syndrome starts at 100 miles per hour and just never lets up, everything sounds distorted and frantic, almost unreal. It's not subtle but it is undeniably forceful. I can see Rhydian dressed head to toe in a tight fitting black leather suit and ankle length leather overcoat, almost obscured by a stage full of dry ice as he sings this. And the studio audience are going into meltdown, screaming along with him. The picture cuts to Simon and instead of that slightly embarrassed look he normally has when an act is singing, now he is biting his bottom lip and headbanging frantically in time to the music.
Just imagine Hope trying to follow this with some lame version of a Spice Girls song.

"And this is the last time I'll forget you....I wish I could, I wish I could"

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Rhydian:X Factor Merchandising ...gone mad

The Rhydian Factor has already highlighted some of the great Rhydian based products available on EBay. We've featured the Rhydian Clock, Keyring, Car number plate(RHYD1AN) and best of all the fast selling Rhydian laminated book mark (with a handy easy-wipe-clean surface for any spills). And we have searched fruitlessly for merchandise based on the other X Factor contestants...until now.
Ladiessss and Gentlemen It'ssssss.....the Same Difference Pooper Scooper. This item only came to light after extensive searches, i.e. typing "Same Difference s**t" into Google. It is surely the product that every Same Difference fan (who is also a dog lover) wants in their Xmas stocking this year. As the description so eloquently says, "ARE YOU a scatological Same Difference obsessive AND a dog owner? …then we have the perfect product for you. This is a unique chance to buy a Same Difference Pooper Scooper. NOW dog owners can support Same Difference every time they clear up after their canine pal. The picture is fully laminated so that any dirt is easily cleaned off with running water and without damaging the picture beneath." Marvellous!

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Sunday, 25 November 2007

Rhydian:goes to the country

Who is the greatest Welsh singer? When I started this blog that was a question I wanted to find the answer to so I added a poll to gauge public opinion. It's in the right hand column about two thirds of the way down the page. The polling company I picked only allowed seven options for the answer(no room for Aled Jones, Charlotte Church or Gruff Rhys), however, after 234 votes these are the results so far. Rhydian(61%), James Dean Bradfield(16%), Tom Jones (11%), Shirley Bassey (8%), Bonnie Tyler(2%), Max Boyce(2%) and Cerys Matthews(0%)
I know its not scientific as most visitors are Rhydian fans but it is encouraging. Also good to see Max Boyce, who I added as a joke, beating Cerys Matthews.
Other Xfactor/Rhydian polls worth voting in:-

Polls Boutique are running a Do you think Rhydian should win this year's X Factor? 25 votes so far. Definately 52%, Definately Not 48%. Worrying.
X Factor Fan Site have a poll about your favourite X Factor Judge, 319 votes. Simon 39%, Sharon 34%, Dannii 18%, Louis 8%

Toluna : have a poll called Does Anyone fancy Rhydian out of the X Factor? 230 votes. 7% yes, 93% no. This makes you wonder what sort of idiots are visiting Toluna. You get a clue if you look at some of their other polls such as, What do you think of this fancy new polling tool? and my favourite, If you fancy a girl/boy what do you do? Only 2 votes and 50% say 'Ignore Them'

MP3:Radiohead:Lucky(acoustic version) suggested as a song for Rhydian to sing by a reader

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Rhydian: News from the Blogs no:523

In the old days if you wanted to become a singing super star you honed your craft by countless hours touring the country and singing to disinterested people. Today all you need to do is make a Minogue cry, albeit on television. A sorry state of affairs...but he did sing Somewhere marvellously. So, what does the world at large think of 2007s X Factor winner, Rhydian?
Peggy's Shirley Bassey Blog (Shirley is forever),"Rhydian Roberts performed another winner this week... It looks like another Welsh singer is going to be a big star!"
Perez Hilton ,"He won’t be quite the international superstar that Leona Lewis is poised to be, but Rhydian will be a good X Factor champ. He’s definitely the best of this season’s lot. He brought Dannii to tears!"
The Simon Times (a blog obsessively all about one person(imagine that!), Simon Cowell) quotes Dannii in More magazine,"Rhydian Roberts is very handsome in real life. He's great. He's perfectly well proportioned and a real gentleman, and I love that. People love to hate him but when they meet him they change their minds and say “I love this guy.” He's cool.'
Lucy's blog (Don't piss off the writer, she might write a book about you and kill you!) A brilliant read, "X Factor was somewhat shit last night. Except I was watching it in my pyjamas in bed, which was ace! My fluffy pyjamas, at that." she goes on to say how shocked she is about Bev, then," I think Hope were pretty shit to be honest, but it's only because loads of blokes are perving on them and voting for them, I reckon." and on to the Rhydler and it's not looking good for him,"...this year I'm not really willing anyone to win, as long as its not Rhydian. He sends chills through me when he sings, and not in a good way. Ergh. He's sooo bloody vile and I didn't know the song he was singing either." So maybe don't visit Lucy's blog for Rhydian love but at least she had this missive about SD,"Same Difference made me want to spew up... pretty sure the only reason I didn't is because I'd wolfed down the last of my Cadbury's Buttons and I wasn't going to waste them. Instead I took a nice big swig of my vodka and coke." Excellent stuff.
No Damn Blog blog (The rants, raves and ramblings of an author and editor living in the land of the long lunch) A seriously good post which makes the valid point that Rhydian doen't spit at his audience. What's not to like about that?, "Why do so many people tag Rhydian Roberts, X Factor’s outstanding contestant, as weird? His current hair style is a little odd, agreed, but that’s not his choice. Leaving aside his “makes-my-hair-stand-on-end-voice”, he has a great physique; loves his family; doesn’t spit at audiences. He’s polite; he has performed graciously and good-naturedly and kept his dignity when dressed as Liberace and later in the horrible sailor suit. He’s a Christian (I’m not, but I don’t think that being one necessarily qualifies as being weird). He’s well-educated, well-spoken, and as far as I have been able to see, doesn’t have any piercings. He doesn’t say “You know what I mean?” at the end of every sentence.So how, precisely, is he weird? "

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Week 6: Leon does Ray Charles

It is hard to describe in words what it was like watching Leon 'the stagefright' Jackson singing You Don't Know Me on X Factor last night. So hard that we have to resort to a visual video metaphor.

With apologies to Pitchfork media. Their idea I just nicked it.

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